Thoughts on Parenting
We are officially at two now. I know a lot of people call two "terrible" but I don't like that. I don't want to wish them away. Yes, we have frequent tantrums, lots of "NO!!!" and a newfound stubbornness ("I NO EGGS!!!" which I think means "That omelette looks lovely mother dear, but I simply don't do eggs.") But overall, two rocks! And, so far, it's way easier than colicky newborn or clingy one-year old, although those ages have their advantages too.
Does it get any better than language? He's getting his eyeteeth right now, and was chewing on his hands. "Does your mouth hurt?" I asked. "No, I alright" is the response. Cool! I mean, that is helpful to know! And darn cute. It's also great to hear him tell me about his day: "Me, Sophie, play trains." And it's hilarious to hear him mimic the adults around him: I was fake crying this morning as part of some make-believe game I can't recall. He heard me and turned quickly to say in a very calm, reassuring kind of voice: "No cry Mummy. LM back SOON!"
Do I find myself getting frustrated at times? Yes. I find I can be sharper with him, particularly if he's whining or teary. "LM, DON'T WHINE LIKE THAT. Just ask in a normal voice!" But overall I think I'm pretty calm.
I had this insight into what my philosophy of parenting is - D and I came up with it together, but I articulated it and D was in total agreement. He was all "Tweet it! Tweet it now!" But I didn't, and so it's probably not going to come out quite the same way. But basically the way that I approach parenting is this: Adjust my expectations of his behaviour so that they're realistic given his age. But treat him with the same kind of respect I'd give an adult. In other words, I try remember that he's a toddler with zero impulse control, limited language, and extremely little control or input over his life. At times it is very frustrating to be him. But when I place demands on him, or expect certain behaviour, I am willing to negotiate, compromise, or even give in if, on reflection, it's not worth the battle, just like I am with the adults in my life. And I don't worry about spoiling him, and more than I worry about spoiling D. Anyway, it's working for me, and keeping me happy and sane; and he is, in my slightly biased opinion, thriving, so it seems to be okay for him too.
Labels: motherhood
