Homeless

We no longer own the place we live in! We still have possession for a couple more days, but the title is now in someone else's name. We haven't closed our new place yet, but that should happen tomorrow. If I were working at my firm right now, they probably would have handled all the transfers for me at cost, but since I don't know the real estate associates or paralegals, it didn't feel right popping in and saying "Hey, I know y'all haven't seen me in months, but anyone got some free legal services for me?"

So we hired a solo practitioner - he's great and very detail-oriented, but he does seem to operate in a bit of panic mode at times. A few days ago he called at about 4:30 to tell us our insurance agent hadn't been able to secure insurance for our new place (without which the mortgage company will not give us any money). By the time we got the message at 5:30 the insurance agent and the lawyer had gone home so D and I had a white-knuckle evening before finally sorting out the next morning that in fact all our insurance was in place and the paperwork just hadn't been sent to the lawyer.

That scare was topped by today - I was awoken from a very pleasant nap to hear his voice on the machine: "NOT a good time to not answer your phone. We have a problem with your mortgage." I called him back to find out that we just had to sign a few things because we changed our amortisation period. (We will still pay it off as if we are amortised for a shorter period, but this way if there is another mat leave, or lay-off or something in the future, we can reduce our payments for awhile.)

Then he says "Oh, and the mortgage company hasn't sent the money in from your sale yet, and if it's not here by now, it's not coming, so we won't be closing tomorrow." My heart barely had time to jump into my throat before he says "Oh, er, wait, actually someone just dropped a FedEx off on my desk and the money's here." Um, yay?

To get the revised documents signed in a time frame that wouldn't give my lawyer a heart attack, I had to wake up LM from a nap, which as the mother of any crappy sleeper will know, is an extremely painful thing to do. It was made doubly painful by the fact that he refused to nap yesterday and was awake ALL day with the exception of a 40-minute period around 3:30pm. And he was out so cold when I woke him - not even flinching as I pulled off the covers or turned on the light.

So anyway, let's hope there are no more panics before tomorrow; if not we will be home-owners and house-owners! We will have a backyard, and a screen door, and a family room, and stucco, and front steps and a shed. Hooray!*

*This hooray does not constitute an official self-congratulations. The hooray described in this document is subject to restrictions and congratulations must be offered only in compliance with these restrictions.

Sold!

Our place sold! Yahoo. And for just $500 less than the initial offer, so all in all it worked out wonderfully. Thanks for your positive thoughts (and your lovely compliments on LM.) To answer your question Kaitlyn, I don't think he looks that much like either of us, at least not in the way some babies do where you look at them and see one parent. However, if you look at baby photos of D, and also of my brother, there are a lot of similarities with both of them. (And I think he has my eyes! But luckily for him, someone else's long lashes.)

Can't believe how quickly work is creeping up on me. I got an e-mail from my boss a couple of days ago asking if I wanted to do some training in the Big Smoke. Training opportunities are fairly few and far between in my city, at least at our office, plus I think it would be really cool to meet some of the students one of the bigger offices and participate in their training. Plus it will be kinda fun to spend some time in Canada's law capital. Obviously I've been to the city before (am in fact headed there next week) but not in any sort of lawyerly function. I said yes immediately.

Problem is, it's in August, before my mat leave is officially over. So it begs the question - what to do with LM? It's hard to imagine what he'll be like three months from now. Right now he is going through this big separation anxiety phase, and when I leave him to go to the gym, yoga, shopping, whatever, he'll often cry for an extended period - it's very trying on his caregivers, and him. I'm not sure if he'll be as dependent on me once he's more mobile and so on, but what if he is? Also, I don't want to wean him yet, so leaving him for four days could be both physically and emotionally traumatic for us both. I'd be engorged and I'd have to pump to maintain my supply, and I think the sudden weaning, even if it's temporary, could be fairly traumatic for LM.

So I have three options, more or less in order of preference:

1. Take LM with me, convince D to take a week of holidays and all go together;
Pros: LM's transition to me as a working woman is less traumatic; he spends time with Dad and we get to see some of D's family.
Cons: We'd prefer to spend D's vacation time working on the house; ticket cost.

2. Take LM and hire a nanny service to take care of him while I am there.
Pros: LM doesn't have to undergo sudden weaning; I don't suddenly disappear from his life for a week when previously he's never been away from me for more than a few hours;
Cons: Cost; LM is left alone with a stranger in a strange place.

3. Leave LM at home and hope D can take a vacation week, or arrange some other child care.
Pros: I can just relax on training and don't have to juggle LM's morning and evening rituals; can take advantage of all the dinners and so on.
Cons: I can only base it on how he is now, but I think this could be fairly traumatic for LM; he'd survive, but it would be kinda painful for him and by extension, for me; I'd have to be diligent about pumping and maintaining supply; we risk damaging our breastfeeding relationship.

Decisions, decisions. I'm definitely leaning toward #1 or 2, but am keeping #3 in mind just in case LM does become radically more independent.

Throw Me a Bone!

Blah - waiting for the final word on the outstanding offer. Ugh! Keep your fingers crossed.

In other news, I was at a café with another mum and baby today. The waitress kept cooing over my friend's baby.

"She's so precious!"

"She's so lovely!"

"Can I carry her into the kitchen and show her off?"

Her only acknowledgment of LM was, as we were leaving, "He's a... good little baby, isn't he?"

Now obviously my friend's baby is a complete sweetheart, but for god's sake, throw my kid a bone! Clearly the woman was insane, and also, blind. Luckily I don't need any outsider's confirmation that he is the most adorable seven-month old on the planet, because well, the proof is right there on his face!

Lazing in the sand.

Not digging the baby sunglasses.

All the proof I need!

Eyaach. So the second bidders resubmitted their offer, which is good. We won't know if it goes through for several more days so in the meantime we are still keeping it clean all the time (or attempting to do so.) Their inspector came through and was very hardcore about everything apparently and found all sorts of problems that the other inspector didn't. But I'm assuming no news is good news and I've got to believe that if they were going to back out based on the inspection, they would let us know before our open house (when presumably if others were going to make offers, they would.) They knew we were screwed over once, so hopefully if they were going to withdraw, they wouldn't wait until the last minute.

I do have a better feeling about the couple. They sound like nicer people. And the woman who withdrew sounds like she's sort of under Daddy's thumb a little bit. Plus he bought her a beemer for her birthday. And the going theory is still that she withdrew after he decided there was something wrong with the place. Coddled, much? And we're not talking some sweet young thing - she's well into her 30s. This apartment holds so many wonderful memories for us that I'm quite happy to sacrifice a few dollars to have it go to someone who sounds a little less immature. And if it's not this couple, it'll be someone else. But I really hope it's this couple!

F*ck f*ck f*ck

We had three offers on our place Sunday. We accepted the highest one with the fewest conditions. The offers were close, and we could have gone back to the closest ones and asked if either one was willing to go a bit higher to create a clear difference. But we wanted to be good people, and we trusted that in a multiple offer situation both people had put themselves out as far as they could go. We didn't want to get greedy since we were getting what we hoped and a bit more. Plus we felt a real comfort in that the buyer's agent made her client sound extremely sympathetic and that she really, really wanted to be in this building; that it quote unquote "felt like home." It's funny how it works here - the agents do their little spiels on their clients in the hopes that you might be swayed by that even if the offer isn't, strictly speaking, the best one.

What's weird is that for a few days afterwards I had a real sadness for the runners up, who had apparently been beat out in several multiple offer situations already. They were (according to their agent) a young couple looking to start a family et cetera et cetera. I don't know why I didn't really care about the third couple even though they had sounded nice as well. After a few days I got over my seller's remorse.

The inspection was yesterday and went well and I met, very briefly, the skinny bitch who, I thought, would be moving in. (You see where I'm going with all this, right?) But there was one more little condition I hadn't really worried about. She had already seen and signed off on our financials for the condominium, but not a particular form that also lists some financial details and assures that we are up-to-date on our condo fee payments (which we are). In my mind it was a complete formality, but of course the standard contract is drafted in a way that is quite vague. So apparently she is now backing out because she has decided she will not "approve" that form. The pisser is that she's had that form since Sunday night and she has waited until Thursday to back out so now our condo is cold cold cold.

I know it sounds crazy to be in a fit because our condo hasn't sold in a week, but in this market a week or two on the market can mean a difference of $15K or more in price.

The somewhat significant silver lining is that at least we can go back to the other two offers and ask them if they are still interested. But man, how could she DO that to us? She royally f*cked us and she knows it. Our agent and hers feels that she is using it as an excuse because her father (who was at the inspection) feels she is overextending. Good for her I guess, but our condo was very fairly priced and I can guaran-f*cking-tee she will not find anything as nice at the same price. Did I mention the gleaming hardwood floors, gourmet kitchen and loads of upgrades? And now I have to clean it again! F*ck!!

Not Counting My Chickens

We sold - pending inspection. We are very much relieved and I will post more about the process once everything is all confirmed. All I can say is that this is a crazy, crazy market. In the meantime I am still trying to keep the place neat and tidy since I know the potential new owner will be spending some time in here poking around tomorrow (at least that's what I did for our inspection!)

Also, don't you find it weird when neighbours ask the price? Five sets of them traipsed through the open house too. Hmph - nosy. We don't even tell our family that - it's kind of personal. I'm pretty open to blogging about finances in the abstract here, but I prefer to remain quiet about it in my real life. Why don't they just do what I do - quietly e-mail your real estate agent and ask.

Offers

We are accepting offers for our place at 8 p.m. So incredibly nervous. Hope all goes well. Trying to feel zen about it. BUNDLE of nerves. If it doesn't go this weekend that's bad news in this market as stale = bad.

A Room of One's Own

So we bought a house! I am still reeling from the sticker shock, but we're so happy. I tried to believe when we lost the other place that "what's meant to be will be" and this kind of confirms it. I know hindsight is 20/20, but when we first looked at the last place I told D that I just didn't "see" us there; I can totally see us in the place we've got - which I guess is a good thing since we are indeed going there! It doesn't have quite the same cuteness factor that the other place did, but at its heart, it's a better house. The neighbourhood is closer to where we are now, it's not too near a busy street, the basement has a higher ceiling, and the kitchen is much bigger.

In the three months we've been househunting we honed in on one style that is very typical for the area since that is pretty much all we could afford. I think I have seen about 40 of these two-bedroom bungalows - all of them variations on theme. They are all square boxes with four main rooms: living, kitchen and two bedrooms. They all have oak flooring in the living area and cedar in the bedrooms (unless some one covered it with carpet, or, ugh, replaced it with laminate.) Small things change: the placement of the bathroom or hall, the existence of an eating nook, or the exterior siding, the yard. I've gotten really good at looking past the staging and noticing whether it has our "must-haves" - entry closet, storage space, room to grow.

So the plusses on this one are:

• big, new kitchen - it might not have been done the way I'd have chosen (I think it's IKEA) but still, nothing to do there;
  
• high basement height, means there are real possibilities down there, a guest room and 2-piece bathroom downstairs (plus a studio suite has a separate entrance and is rented out to assist with the mortgage);
  
• big closets and cold storage (YAY STORAGE!) and
  
• a view of the mountains;

The biggest plus as far as I'm concerned is that it's right next to a giant park with a play structure and kiddy pool and lots of kids running around in it. The minusses are all quite fixable:

• ugly windows, driveway that abuts the house (we'll rip it out);
  
• yard not completely fenced in;
  
• no garage (but space for one);
• a bit of a mouldy corner in one corner of the house but we can fix that quite easily.
  

I feel very lucky that we can even contemplate owning a house in this city. Many of our friends are settling permanently in apartments or moving outside the city limits. The real estate market is insane. We bid $25,000 over asking to secure this place and because there were multiple bidders, we could not make it subject to inspection, financing et cetera - all that had to be done beforehand. Within less than 24 hours after the offer was accepted I had to somehow liquify $4oK for a deposit even though we haven't yet sold our own place and therefore have no access to the equity we have in our condo. (Um - yay line of credit, credit cards and bank of Mum and Dad). That money's not anything close to our full downpayment, that's just a part of the downpayment that we have to pay immediately so that if we back out on the contract they can keep that. We spent all of 3 hours in the house (including the inspection - done before the offer) and we're now going to be moving our whole life there! Oh and I just found out someone was stabbed down the street just a few weeks ago - woops!

This city is crazy. But we are still really, really happy. We have seen enough houses to know that we did good.

Another Weekend

I need to buy a carseat soon. Sad but true - we have to return the infant seat we borrowed next month. Mind you, carrying a seventeen pound baby in an infant seat isn't that fun anyway, although it is fantastic for the arms.

We have a very small, very battered car that we will not be replacing particularly soon given that we are planning to throw all of our money into a home in the very near future. So I am considering the Britax Roundabout. It goes to 40lb and I think it will be small enough for our car. Our 10-year old car does not have any sort of LATCH system, but I understand that the Britaxes can be secured with just a seatbelt. I also wonder, do the 65lb seats really take up that much more room than an infant seat? Do you think that would see LM until age 3? By then we'd probably have a new car, and we hope to have a new baby, so at that stage I'd buy him one of those behemoth carseats that go to 65 lb and put new baby into the Roundabout. Just wondering, since the infant seat is reclined so you'd think it'd take up more space. Because if they do fit, then I'd just get the big one and skip the one with a 40-lb limit.

Our house hunt continues. We saw a place that was very promising although the basement absolutely reeked of dog, masked by some sort of vanilla air freshener. The combination was quite overwhelming but the house was actually very cute. D wasn't with me though, so we'll only put in an offer if it hasn't sold by next weekend.

It's interesting what different people focus on in houses. At one place, our real estate agent (who is gay) immediately pegged it as being owned by two lesbians. He spotted the rainbow-coloured umbrella and the Rosie the Riveter poster, along with the framed photo of two women. My gaydar is just not tuned in like that.

P.S. Shout-out to Michelle and adorable (I'm sure) new baby Colin!

Grieving

I'm mourning the loss of our house after all. It really was so cute, and the basement was so perfect for future development. Plus it had a cherry tree - I don't think I mentioned the cherry tree. The realtor called to tell me the couple that got it. I saw them at the open house. Apparently she's due in a few weeks and was just desperate to get something before baby. And it turns out we were the lowest offer of all, despite being $21,000 over asking in the end. And the people who bought it didn't even bother with any sort of inspection, which is just so idiotic on an 80-year old house in an extremely wet climate. Of course, the inspection came back fine, but it's so dumb they wouldn't do one!

I just can't believe some pregnant bitch came and stole my house with some absurd bid and now my boys and I don't get to spend the summer enjoying a sunny backyard and some homegrown fruit. I hope her baby is really ugly. And yes, I realise I just wished evil on a baby. Guess I'm going through the Kubler-Ross stages. I think I'm at anger.

Open House

I was hoping to be able to write an entry about how we'd bought a house tonight. But instead, it's an entry about how we offered $9,000 over asking, allowed ourselves to be bid up to $21,000 over asking, and still didn't get the house! Even though we had the inspection, were pre-approved and had no subjects on the offer. Tens of thousands over asking for a two bedroom bungalow... a very cute two-bedroom bungalow on a nice long lot, but a two-bedroom bungalow nonetheless.

Strangely, while I am disappointed, and stinging form having spent $500 on an inspection, I am not going to lose any sleep. The house may have been worth our highest bid, perhaps, but it certainly wasn't worth a penny more. D is more demoralised than I am. He's wondering how we'll afford anything in this climate. I think, well, there's a better place out there that's meant for us. Hopefully I'll be writing an entry about it really soon.

Solid Ground

LM has been asleep for 36 minutes and counting, which means I am seriously tempting fate by starting a blog post. If I want anything done, it needs to be started at the beginning of nap time.

House-hunting continues apace. We have two more to see tomorrow, which we're excited about. Both are in a wonderful neighbourhood. One looks ideal, but it's a little closer to a busy road than we'd like. The other is in a better location, but probably needs more work.

Ahhh. Patience makes perfect. Or something. I'm a big believer in the idea that we'll end up where we're meant to be. The substitute real estate agent (ours in on hols), who is extremely helpful and sweet, was a bit over-excited about one and mentioned how many people were going through it today. Well, if we're meant to be in it, it will wait for us because I don't want to rush over there this afternoon without D.

In other news, I'm interested in how many of my friends and peers are starting their kids on solids early.

I took a prenatal class with a six couples. I absolutely LOVED it. Some of it could be a bit overly granola-crunchy; I think we all found that. But sometimes it helps to get that perspective since we get the other perspective almost everywhere else. We had two sessions on breastfeeding, attended by mums and dads. Of the women in that class, all of them are exclusively breastfeeding, and none are planning on introducing solids early.

I was also part of another mother's group of six. None of them did a prenatal class that focussed on breastfeeding. All of them wanted and planned to exclusively breastfeed, but none have done it without medication for supply issues, or some formula supplementation. Most of them are planning to introduce solids well before six months. Obviously not scientific but it does bolster my theory that lots of "supply" issues are actually caused by misinformation and poor advice. I do add the caveat that one of those mothers could not have breastfed exclusively anyway because of breast reduction surgery, and in that respect she was given quite bad advice from the pro-BF camp, many of whom encouraged her to think that she would be able to do so. It was quite heartbreaking to realise she could not, and a lactation consultant later confessed she had never met a woman who'd undergone that surgery who could. It would have been better (and kinder) to prepare her for the fact that breastfeeding under those circumstances is going to be challenging and formula supplementatin would likely be needed. Instead she had to figure that out in that crazy hormonal immediate post-partum period as her baby failed to thrive.

In any case I will be waiting on solids. I'm sure some babies are genuinely ready before six months, but I don't think LM is one of them - his gas still wakes him crying and I am wary of throwing anything else in the mix. At least, that's what I say to the mothers and relatives who ask "why wait?" I must admit another part of it is just that it looks awfully busy... I can hardly plan meals for myself - planning them for LM just seems a lot of work.

In any case LM is up now (what... you think I actually wrote this whole post with him asleep?) and so we're off as he won't be content to suck on my arm as I type for too many more minutes.

Another Thought

After a weekend of trying to get excited about places that are well over half a mil, yet are all, in real estate speak "in need of TLC" and are in far distant parts of town, I've had another thought - the joint buy. That's right, buying a place with an in-law suite that we co-own with my mother. She'd rent out her part until she's more doddering and ready to downsize and live in it. In the meantime we'd rent it out. I'm actually pretty excited about the idea, and importantly, so is D. Oh, and of course my mother.

It will probably take longer to find the right place, but we could get a lot more. I'm not too worried about personal space - if anything, it would likely be my mother who would have to set boundaries on us. She's very sensitive to not 'intruding'. I guess the only wrinkle would be if D and I decided we didn't want to be in this city any more, or if she did. But I suppose by buying a place in the first place we are committing to being here for a while, and the way real estate is around here we'd stand to make some money even if we had to sell in five years. The demand here is so high that I don't see a crash happening - and even if there was a crash, it doesn't matter if your money is invested in a small single family home, or a larger one with a suite. So what do you think? Would you ever do it?

I'm watching the View right now while LM naps, and I just can't believe Whoopi is doing LA Weight Loss commercials. The commercials are so damn cheap looking. Speaking of naps, all my smugness about LM's sleep lately? It's gotten pretty bad again. Naps are working all right though there was a brief interlude where he stopped napping too. He was actually in a perfectly fine mood during that stint - but I almost went out of my mind - entertaining a baby for 12 hours a day is exhausting. That's improved again, but he is up SOOOO often at night. It's quite incredible. I keep reminding myself - everything is a phase!

Heart Over Head

Does it strike you as completely absurd that the most expensive purchase in your life is likely the one where you have the least chance to examine the product? When we bought the place we live in now, I was absolutely in love with it. I pictured us here. We saw three places and made an offer our first day out - it was heart over head all the way. D spent WAY more time agonising over my engagement ring, or his car. I've spent more time picking strollers or jeans. (Egads: just realised how gender-stereotyped my examples are; oh well.)

Luckily we've had two and half wonderful years here. D carried me over the threshold after our honeymoon; we found out we were pregnant in our open kitchen; our little boy was born in its big bath. There's been the mundane stuff too: I've spent lots of days leaning up to the fireplace, glancing out the windows at the view, entertaining friends and family. And of course there have been some sad times too, though thankfully not too many: I had a miscarriage; we found out my aunt has cancer. This place has been so important to us, and yet before we moved in we saw it for only 20 minutes.

Now we are getting ready to do house purchase number two. At least with this condo we had the comfort of knowing it was a new building still under warranty. Now we move into a fixer-upper. It doesn't help that the market here is insane. I think I referred to the fact that I live in neighbourhood where there are million dollar homes. When we were kids, if you heard a house was worth a million dollars, you pictured Tom Cruise's place. But no, I don't live next to 2-acre, gated estates. The homes around here are modest three-bedrooms on lots that are maybe 120 feet deep. The place I grew up in (in another city) was far nicer and more spacious than most of the places around here. Many of them aren't even particularly nice, but the land value alone means a tear-down is over $800,000. Needless to say, we will not be staying in this neighbourhood. But I do want to remain in city limits and that means, for a detached home, a lot of money. And no, D doesn't make gazillions. But in this city you get used to putting a huge amount of your income into real estate.

Anyway we have examined our finances and we've set a price range that we can afford, factoring in the exorbitant cost of daycare, another maternity leave in a couple of years, possibly a new car, RRSP contributions. I am so glad D is sensible like that because I am not. He has an Excel sheet a mile long. And yet, I know a lot our decision will be based on emotion, because that's how I am, and despite his sensibleness, he does let himself get carried away with me. (Don't tell him I said that!)

I saw a place yesterday and I fell in love with its antique fireplace and old-fashioned windows. It's a place we can afford, and it has loads of potential. The neighbourhood, while much shabbier than this one, has lots of young families and is close to a funky shopping area. I called D in a dither this morning after mulling it over for a couple of hours. We've only seen five places (plus a few open houses I've gone to solo), but I was already calling our realtor to say "we're considering this one... seriously." He said we hadn't seen enough. He pointed out the flaws. He think it's overpriced. He said, "I could say 'sure, let's write up an offer' and make my easy commission, but I think we can do better." So we agreed - we'll go see it again this weekend if it's still on the market, but we'll keep looking. I am so lucky to have people in my life to look out for me like that. In the end, real estate is a giant leap of faith. I'm so glad the right person is guiding us through it.

Lucky

Sometimes you just have a bit of good luck. A few weeks ago D was looking over my financials and remarked how lots of my stuff was in long-term, higher risk and that if I wanted to use the money towards our downpayment I should change that. I sighed and hemmed and hawed. I'm always afraid I'll miss the next big thing. But I finally got around to switching all my non-registered savings to something much lower risk. Of course the market had a great day that day and I couldn't help saying - "see? If I'd left it one more day..." But today I am much relieved. Yay for nagging (well-meaning, financially responsible, super-supportive) husbands.

Money Matters

Okay, feeling a little less panicked. Not going sailing was the right decision. I am now only one exam away from being done.

In non-bar exam news, having a baby has made us get really serious about finances, and budgeting for absolutely everything. I've got a spreadsheet budgeting for absolutely every baby related purchase - even breast pads and diaper bags. I'm still trying to justify to D that we need the organic crib mattress. I have a cousin who died of SIDS, and that makes me a wee bit anxious about all the risk factors, though I have decided that the crazy SIDS monitors are not really useful and are probably just stress-inducing.

Anyway, in an effort to be financially responsible, I was just going over our mortgage statements. The prime interest rate has gone up yet again. We have lived in our condo for two years, and pay roughly $1600 a month into our mortgage ($1636 after the new rate increase). We put down a 20% downpayment. Of the remaining debt, we have paid off only $12,000 of principal in 24 months - the rest (more than half) is all interest! Isn't that depressing?

Factoring in condo fees and the exorbitant heating at our old place, it only costs us about $100 more to live here than it did to rent, so it's still a better deal. And our place has appreciated by quite a bit. But it's still kind of sad to see how much we pay the bank to live here. And of course I haven't factored in all the costs associated with buying, which go into the thousands when you consider lawyer's fees, inspections, painting, buying the odd piece of new furniture, moving. Wow.

Anyhow, I better get back to criminal procedure. And crib mattress shopping.