Sunday Night Blues

Blah.

One of my best friend's booked a trip here without telling me beforehand and I'm not even going to be in town (or wasn't planning to be.) I thought it was a trip at least in part to see me, but I guess it was more to hang out with her other friend who lives here. Shitty. She was a bridesmaid, so I consider her a great pal, and I'm more than a little pissed off about it.

Blah.

I missed an invite to go out for dinner tonight because LM got a fever that spiked to 103... and I decided I better stay home and ensure he's okay especially since he had one scarily dry diaper. He seems to be getting all these horrid little fevers lately and I'm not sure what it's all about.

Blah.

I am having no luck finding someone to nanny-share with. One measly reply to my Craig's List posting. My new strategy will be advertising on bulletin boards in my new 'hood, but I am starting to panic a wee bit.

Blah.

I haven't exercised in week.

Blah.

The weekend is over and I didn't even unpack one stupid box or paint one single wall.

Too Tired of Unpacking for a Real Post

Unpacking takes so much longer when there's a little wriggler around - especially one who has just figured out how to crawl on all fours (more or less anyway) and who tends to crawl over and wrap his little body around your legs and look up at you pleadingly.

Settling In

D and I are not always the most sensible people. For example, when we got they keys to our home, instead of spending the day taping and painting while the place was still empty, we jetted off to Home Depot and spent four hours there buying all kinds of random things, including a kiddie pool, a lawn mower and a new (LG!) washer/dryer to replace the pair downstairs. All of these are more or less necessary and going to be utilised, but they probably could have held off a week as we are now in the midst of painting hell, attempting to tape and cut and roll around all these large boxes that we can't put away until we've finished taping, cutting and rolling. On the bright side I had a wonderful birthday watching LM splash around naked in his new pool.

Then yesterday we wiled away our Saturday by visiting Costco, something D has been dying to do ever since he contemplated us having enough storage to make it worthwhile. As a result we now have 87 rolls of toilet paper and 50lb of cat litter, but our living room is still a disaster zone. I did manage to talk him out of eating there - the meal we had at Home Depot the week before having rather turned me off.

But home ownership over all is going well. I was a bit worried we'd feel like we were in the middle of nowhere since our new neighbourhood is far more residential than our old one, and the closest high streets are a much less pretty. But I actually feel like we've moved to a hipper, cooler place; unlike our old, staid, established 'hood, this place is hopping in the evenings, with children playing, old women sitting on park benches chatting, young men playing basketball and bocce, and a general feeling of activity and life. I love it!

From the Mouths of Babes

The other day I was happily bouncing my two-year old niece on my knee while we sang "Walk Old Joe" when she looks over and grazes my chest with her hands. She looks up at me with her big blue eyes and says: "That's where LM eats."

"Um, yes"

"Eats milk," she says. "Only milk."

"Well, he eats some other things too."

"No, only milk."

Ah... you know you're a mother when the only comments that are made about your chest have to do with milk production.

Anyway, we are indeed homeowners, registered and all, with possession tomorrow. Our Internet access is getting shut off in the wee hours and the stupid ISP can't flick the switch to turn it back on for a few days. Between then and now I'll be celebrating a rather momentous birthday, so think of me as I cross the threshold from sweet young thing to, er, not so young anymore (though, I guess given my niece's comments, that threshold is likely already passed.)

Homeless

We no longer own the place we live in! We still have possession for a couple more days, but the title is now in someone else's name. We haven't closed our new place yet, but that should happen tomorrow. If I were working at my firm right now, they probably would have handled all the transfers for me at cost, but since I don't know the real estate associates or paralegals, it didn't feel right popping in and saying "Hey, I know y'all haven't seen me in months, but anyone got some free legal services for me?"

So we hired a solo practitioner - he's great and very detail-oriented, but he does seem to operate in a bit of panic mode at times. A few days ago he called at about 4:30 to tell us our insurance agent hadn't been able to secure insurance for our new place (without which the mortgage company will not give us any money). By the time we got the message at 5:30 the insurance agent and the lawyer had gone home so D and I had a white-knuckle evening before finally sorting out the next morning that in fact all our insurance was in place and the paperwork just hadn't been sent to the lawyer.

That scare was topped by today - I was awoken from a very pleasant nap to hear his voice on the machine: "NOT a good time to not answer your phone. We have a problem with your mortgage." I called him back to find out that we just had to sign a few things because we changed our amortisation period. (We will still pay it off as if we are amortised for a shorter period, but this way if there is another mat leave, or lay-off or something in the future, we can reduce our payments for awhile.)

Then he says "Oh, and the mortgage company hasn't sent the money in from your sale yet, and if it's not here by now, it's not coming, so we won't be closing tomorrow." My heart barely had time to jump into my throat before he says "Oh, er, wait, actually someone just dropped a FedEx off on my desk and the money's here." Um, yay?

To get the revised documents signed in a time frame that wouldn't give my lawyer a heart attack, I had to wake up LM from a nap, which as the mother of any crappy sleeper will know, is an extremely painful thing to do. It was made doubly painful by the fact that he refused to nap yesterday and was awake ALL day with the exception of a 40-minute period around 3:30pm. And he was out so cold when I woke him - not even flinching as I pulled off the covers or turned on the light.

So anyway, let's hope there are no more panics before tomorrow; if not we will be home-owners and house-owners! We will have a backyard, and a screen door, and a family room, and stucco, and front steps and a shed. Hooray!*

*This hooray does not constitute an official self-congratulations. The hooray described in this document is subject to restrictions and congratulations must be offered only in compliance with these restrictions.

Not Packing

I should be packing right now, since we are moving in less than a week! Egads. I did a few boxes of books today, but other than that everything is still completely in its place - all the knick-knacks, dishes, clothes, and other tchotkes. But I hate having my place in a mess, and so I guess I'd rather have a couple of days of packing hell rather than a week or more of boxing messiness. I unpack really quickly too - although with LM it will be more of a challenge.

D is out tonight at a stag party so I am watching Sex and the City. I love the show and all the subplots. But I just cannot get excited about Mr. Big. The scenes where Carrie is pining over him and having public temper tantrums because he is dating someone else - ugh - painful. I mean the guy is a complete ass. I guess that's the point, but somehow it's just not as entertaining anymore. I think I related to this show more five years ago (and maybe, just maybe had a tantrum or two myself.) But we all have our guilty pleasures, right?

Do Not Call Me!

One of the crappy things about being home much of the day is the nine million and four telemarketing calls I have to field. I used to work as a telemarketer, for about four hours (before hiding in a bathroom stall and leaving while we were all on our scheduled "break"), so I know what a miserable plight it is to be cold-calling. But the sheer volume of calls means I have no patience to be nice to them anymore.

MBNA Mastercard alone calls me about four times a week, and I get about two or three calls a week from various charities who always, jarringly, call me by my first name. "Hi, Grass?" I'm not much of one for standing on ceremony, but when they do that then I think it's some buddy of mine and I feel compelled to be friendly. Lately I've taken to saying "Who is this?" in a rude voice, but of course a couple of times it has actually been a friend, and then I'm embarrassed.

If I were less compulsive, I'd just screen all my calls. But I'm like the Dustin Hoffman character in Moonlight Mile - I can't not pick up the phone. The only time I don't is when LM is in the bath, and even then, it kills me. So it's doubly annoying when I've rushed for the phone only to find that there's no one there at all - just dead air because some computer miscalculated how many calls their centre can handle. They're not supposed to be allowed to do that but they do, at least once a day.

Canada's laws on telemarketing are pretty toothless. While organisations are obliged to keep their own do not call lists, there is as of yet, no national one. It is, apparently,no-call list being launched in September but even that contains a number of exceptions, for example, for companies with whom you have an existing relationship. Which means the 3 "courtesy calls" that D got this week from CIBC will continue.

After complaining to a friend about the myriad of calls I get, he suggested I threaten to call the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission. So yesterday when MBNA called me, this is what I said.

MBNA: Hello, is Grass there?
Me: Who is this?
MBNA: Oh, it's MBNA Mastercard calling about your...
Me: I want to get on your Do Not Call List.
MBNA: But ma'am [suddenly the first name is dropped] I don't understand. I'm calling about your existing platinum ... [trying to invoke the "existing business relationship" rule]
Me: I don't have an existing platinum account. Seriously, I want to be put on the Do Not Call list or I will be calling the CRTC.
MBNA: Alright then; I will make a note of that. Please allow at least 50 days for your number to be removed from lists already provided to ongoing marketing campaigns.
Me: Bye.

So it worked - sort of. We'll see.

Eyaach. So the second bidders resubmitted their offer, which is good. We won't know if it goes through for several more days so in the meantime we are still keeping it clean all the time (or attempting to do so.) Their inspector came through and was very hardcore about everything apparently and found all sorts of problems that the other inspector didn't. But I'm assuming no news is good news and I've got to believe that if they were going to back out based on the inspection, they would let us know before our open house (when presumably if others were going to make offers, they would.) They knew we were screwed over once, so hopefully if they were going to withdraw, they wouldn't wait until the last minute.

I do have a better feeling about the couple. They sound like nicer people. And the woman who withdrew sounds like she's sort of under Daddy's thumb a little bit. Plus he bought her a beemer for her birthday. And the going theory is still that she withdrew after he decided there was something wrong with the place. Coddled, much? And we're not talking some sweet young thing - she's well into her 30s. This apartment holds so many wonderful memories for us that I'm quite happy to sacrifice a few dollars to have it go to someone who sounds a little less immature. And if it's not this couple, it'll be someone else. But I really hope it's this couple!

F*ck f*ck f*ck

We had three offers on our place Sunday. We accepted the highest one with the fewest conditions. The offers were close, and we could have gone back to the closest ones and asked if either one was willing to go a bit higher to create a clear difference. But we wanted to be good people, and we trusted that in a multiple offer situation both people had put themselves out as far as they could go. We didn't want to get greedy since we were getting what we hoped and a bit more. Plus we felt a real comfort in that the buyer's agent made her client sound extremely sympathetic and that she really, really wanted to be in this building; that it quote unquote "felt like home." It's funny how it works here - the agents do their little spiels on their clients in the hopes that you might be swayed by that even if the offer isn't, strictly speaking, the best one.

What's weird is that for a few days afterwards I had a real sadness for the runners up, who had apparently been beat out in several multiple offer situations already. They were (according to their agent) a young couple looking to start a family et cetera et cetera. I don't know why I didn't really care about the third couple even though they had sounded nice as well. After a few days I got over my seller's remorse.

The inspection was yesterday and went well and I met, very briefly, the skinny bitch who, I thought, would be moving in. (You see where I'm going with all this, right?) But there was one more little condition I hadn't really worried about. She had already seen and signed off on our financials for the condominium, but not a particular form that also lists some financial details and assures that we are up-to-date on our condo fee payments (which we are). In my mind it was a complete formality, but of course the standard contract is drafted in a way that is quite vague. So apparently she is now backing out because she has decided she will not "approve" that form. The pisser is that she's had that form since Sunday night and she has waited until Thursday to back out so now our condo is cold cold cold.

I know it sounds crazy to be in a fit because our condo hasn't sold in a week, but in this market a week or two on the market can mean a difference of $15K or more in price.

The somewhat significant silver lining is that at least we can go back to the other two offers and ask them if they are still interested. But man, how could she DO that to us? She royally f*cked us and she knows it. Our agent and hers feels that she is using it as an excuse because her father (who was at the inspection) feels she is overextending. Good for her I guess, but our condo was very fairly priced and I can guaran-f*cking-tee she will not find anything as nice at the same price. Did I mention the gleaming hardwood floors, gourmet kitchen and loads of upgrades? And now I have to clean it again! F*ck!!

Offers

We are accepting offers for our place at 8 p.m. So incredibly nervous. Hope all goes well. Trying to feel zen about it. BUNDLE of nerves. If it doesn't go this weekend that's bad news in this market as stale = bad.

Prepping

Man - that cold/flu lasted forever. I missed all my baby activities last week. I was pretty sure we were past contagion after about five days, but I figured the other mothers might not appreciate me hacking and coughing all over their infants.

We are crazily preparing our home for sale now. Our open house is this weekend. We are packing up boatloads of baby gear in an attempt to make our 700 square feet look as spacious as it feels to us. It's funny, D was really reluctant to rush and in and buy anything and kept asking friends with older kids if they really needed the space. I think he could have easily been convinced to last here for another year or more. But now that we have our new space, and there will be a separate bedroom for LM, and a den (a real den, not a condo-speak den that can fit a desk and bookshelf and not much more), all of a sudden this feels cramped. D is planning our workout area, and I am praying we get over asking so that we can afford a new washer/dryer. Ahh... bourgeois dreams. I just realised how gender-stereotyped our little fantasies are.

I am hiring a cleaning crew tomorrow and since I am paying for that I have stopped doing any sort of cleaning maintenance for the last week, which means the tub and toilet and kitchen sinks are all icky and the place is in desperate need of a vacuum. But at least I'll feel like I'm getting my money's worth.

A Room of One's Own

So we bought a house! I am still reeling from the sticker shock, but we're so happy. I tried to believe when we lost the other place that "what's meant to be will be" and this kind of confirms it. I know hindsight is 20/20, but when we first looked at the last place I told D that I just didn't "see" us there; I can totally see us in the place we've got - which I guess is a good thing since we are indeed going there! It doesn't have quite the same cuteness factor that the other place did, but at its heart, it's a better house. The neighbourhood is closer to where we are now, it's not too near a busy street, the basement has a higher ceiling, and the kitchen is much bigger.

In the three months we've been househunting we honed in on one style that is very typical for the area since that is pretty much all we could afford. I think I have seen about 40 of these two-bedroom bungalows - all of them variations on theme. They are all square boxes with four main rooms: living, kitchen and two bedrooms. They all have oak flooring in the living area and cedar in the bedrooms (unless some one covered it with carpet, or, ugh, replaced it with laminate.) Small things change: the placement of the bathroom or hall, the existence of an eating nook, or the exterior siding, the yard. I've gotten really good at looking past the staging and noticing whether it has our "must-haves" - entry closet, storage space, room to grow.

So the plusses on this one are:

• big, new kitchen - it might not have been done the way I'd have chosen (I think it's IKEA) but still, nothing to do there;
  
• high basement height, means there are real possibilities down there, a guest room and 2-piece bathroom downstairs (plus a studio suite has a separate entrance and is rented out to assist with the mortgage);
  
• big closets and cold storage (YAY STORAGE!) and
  
• a view of the mountains;

The biggest plus as far as I'm concerned is that it's right next to a giant park with a play structure and kiddy pool and lots of kids running around in it. The minusses are all quite fixable:

• ugly windows, driveway that abuts the house (we'll rip it out);
  
• yard not completely fenced in;
  
• no garage (but space for one);
• a bit of a mouldy corner in one corner of the house but we can fix that quite easily.
  

I feel very lucky that we can even contemplate owning a house in this city. Many of our friends are settling permanently in apartments or moving outside the city limits. The real estate market is insane. We bid $25,000 over asking to secure this place and because there were multiple bidders, we could not make it subject to inspection, financing et cetera - all that had to be done beforehand. Within less than 24 hours after the offer was accepted I had to somehow liquify $4oK for a deposit even though we haven't yet sold our own place and therefore have no access to the equity we have in our condo. (Um - yay line of credit, credit cards and bank of Mum and Dad). That money's not anything close to our full downpayment, that's just a part of the downpayment that we have to pay immediately so that if we back out on the contract they can keep that. We spent all of 3 hours in the house (including the inspection - done before the offer) and we're now going to be moving our whole life there! Oh and I just found out someone was stabbed down the street just a few weeks ago - woops!

This city is crazy. But we are still really, really happy. We have seen enough houses to know that we did good.

Another Weekend

I need to buy a carseat soon. Sad but true - we have to return the infant seat we borrowed next month. Mind you, carrying a seventeen pound baby in an infant seat isn't that fun anyway, although it is fantastic for the arms.

We have a very small, very battered car that we will not be replacing particularly soon given that we are planning to throw all of our money into a home in the very near future. So I am considering the Britax Roundabout. It goes to 40lb and I think it will be small enough for our car. Our 10-year old car does not have any sort of LATCH system, but I understand that the Britaxes can be secured with just a seatbelt. I also wonder, do the 65lb seats really take up that much more room than an infant seat? Do you think that would see LM until age 3? By then we'd probably have a new car, and we hope to have a new baby, so at that stage I'd buy him one of those behemoth carseats that go to 65 lb and put new baby into the Roundabout. Just wondering, since the infant seat is reclined so you'd think it'd take up more space. Because if they do fit, then I'd just get the big one and skip the one with a 40-lb limit.

Our house hunt continues. We saw a place that was very promising although the basement absolutely reeked of dog, masked by some sort of vanilla air freshener. The combination was quite overwhelming but the house was actually very cute. D wasn't with me though, so we'll only put in an offer if it hasn't sold by next weekend.

It's interesting what different people focus on in houses. At one place, our real estate agent (who is gay) immediately pegged it as being owned by two lesbians. He spotted the rainbow-coloured umbrella and the Rosie the Riveter poster, along with the framed photo of two women. My gaydar is just not tuned in like that.

P.S. Shout-out to Michelle and adorable (I'm sure) new baby Colin!

Grieving

I'm mourning the loss of our house after all. It really was so cute, and the basement was so perfect for future development. Plus it had a cherry tree - I don't think I mentioned the cherry tree. The realtor called to tell me the couple that got it. I saw them at the open house. Apparently she's due in a few weeks and was just desperate to get something before baby. And it turns out we were the lowest offer of all, despite being $21,000 over asking in the end. And the people who bought it didn't even bother with any sort of inspection, which is just so idiotic on an 80-year old house in an extremely wet climate. Of course, the inspection came back fine, but it's so dumb they wouldn't do one!

I just can't believe some pregnant bitch came and stole my house with some absurd bid and now my boys and I don't get to spend the summer enjoying a sunny backyard and some homegrown fruit. I hope her baby is really ugly. And yes, I realise I just wished evil on a baby. Guess I'm going through the Kubler-Ross stages. I think I'm at anger.

Open House

I was hoping to be able to write an entry about how we'd bought a house tonight. But instead, it's an entry about how we offered $9,000 over asking, allowed ourselves to be bid up to $21,000 over asking, and still didn't get the house! Even though we had the inspection, were pre-approved and had no subjects on the offer. Tens of thousands over asking for a two bedroom bungalow... a very cute two-bedroom bungalow on a nice long lot, but a two-bedroom bungalow nonetheless.

Strangely, while I am disappointed, and stinging form having spent $500 on an inspection, I am not going to lose any sleep. The house may have been worth our highest bid, perhaps, but it certainly wasn't worth a penny more. D is more demoralised than I am. He's wondering how we'll afford anything in this climate. I think, well, there's a better place out there that's meant for us. Hopefully I'll be writing an entry about it really soon.

Heart Over Head

Does it strike you as completely absurd that the most expensive purchase in your life is likely the one where you have the least chance to examine the product? When we bought the place we live in now, I was absolutely in love with it. I pictured us here. We saw three places and made an offer our first day out - it was heart over head all the way. D spent WAY more time agonising over my engagement ring, or his car. I've spent more time picking strollers or jeans. (Egads: just realised how gender-stereotyped my examples are; oh well.)

Luckily we've had two and half wonderful years here. D carried me over the threshold after our honeymoon; we found out we were pregnant in our open kitchen; our little boy was born in its big bath. There's been the mundane stuff too: I've spent lots of days leaning up to the fireplace, glancing out the windows at the view, entertaining friends and family. And of course there have been some sad times too, though thankfully not too many: I had a miscarriage; we found out my aunt has cancer. This place has been so important to us, and yet before we moved in we saw it for only 20 minutes.

Now we are getting ready to do house purchase number two. At least with this condo we had the comfort of knowing it was a new building still under warranty. Now we move into a fixer-upper. It doesn't help that the market here is insane. I think I referred to the fact that I live in neighbourhood where there are million dollar homes. When we were kids, if you heard a house was worth a million dollars, you pictured Tom Cruise's place. But no, I don't live next to 2-acre, gated estates. The homes around here are modest three-bedrooms on lots that are maybe 120 feet deep. The place I grew up in (in another city) was far nicer and more spacious than most of the places around here. Many of them aren't even particularly nice, but the land value alone means a tear-down is over $800,000. Needless to say, we will not be staying in this neighbourhood. But I do want to remain in city limits and that means, for a detached home, a lot of money. And no, D doesn't make gazillions. But in this city you get used to putting a huge amount of your income into real estate.

Anyway we have examined our finances and we've set a price range that we can afford, factoring in the exorbitant cost of daycare, another maternity leave in a couple of years, possibly a new car, RRSP contributions. I am so glad D is sensible like that because I am not. He has an Excel sheet a mile long. And yet, I know a lot our decision will be based on emotion, because that's how I am, and despite his sensibleness, he does let himself get carried away with me. (Don't tell him I said that!)

I saw a place yesterday and I fell in love with its antique fireplace and old-fashioned windows. It's a place we can afford, and it has loads of potential. The neighbourhood, while much shabbier than this one, has lots of young families and is close to a funky shopping area. I called D in a dither this morning after mulling it over for a couple of hours. We've only seen five places (plus a few open houses I've gone to solo), but I was already calling our realtor to say "we're considering this one... seriously." He said we hadn't seen enough. He pointed out the flaws. He think it's overpriced. He said, "I could say 'sure, let's write up an offer' and make my easy commission, but I think we can do better." So we agreed - we'll go see it again this weekend if it's still on the market, but we'll keep looking. I am so lucky to have people in my life to look out for me like that. In the end, real estate is a giant leap of faith. I'm so glad the right person is guiding us through it.

Current Dilemma

Okay, so we have one vote for boy - another takers? So far my family thinks it's a boy, mainly because of the predominance of males on my side. I tried to explain that it doesn't really work like that, but they weren't buying. D's family is probably just hoping boy because they have all girl grandkids so far, but haven't expressed any inklings. My two friends think girl.

Anyway - our lastest big decision is to move or not to move.

We live in a 700 square foot place. It's perfect for the two of us but it seemed obvious that for three we'd need to move. We were all ready to sell and then we had some mishaps that delayed things, like the fact that the place next door hired a crappy agent and it's been on the market for ages. They also had trouble showing it as the tenants didn't always get back to the agent and didn't keep it very nicely staged - as a result it's been festering for weeks and once that happens every one assumes there's a problem and doesn't want to look since usually things sell very quickly here. It's normally a very hot market.

Their place being on for so long really affects the value of ours, since the places are virtual mirror images of each other. Also, they've had to keep dropping the price, so we may have trouble demanding what we think this place is worth. So annoying - especially as a few months ago the place above us (also the same as ours) sold in one day at asking price.

Then we had a flood, which further delayed things - the condo is still figuring out what to do to repair it. It's not in our apartment, but it affects the building so we don't want to sell until it's fixed as people may use it as an excuse to lowball us.

Anyway, all this has us looking at the apartment and thinking, well maybe we should just stay! Our teeny tiny den, which is right off the living room, could be converted into a nursery - add some doors to it, and a dresser/change table. Right now we just use the space to watch tv, since we don't like having a tv right in the living room (which is also the kitchen and dining room), but hey, we can make sacrifices.

Some decisions, like whether to have the child in our room or not, are things we'll play be ear. But in any case, we'd fit a crib in the den. Of course, the apartment is very small, so having people over (or even just clanging around) could be a challenge if the baby is a light sleeper. But maybe the baby just gets used to things like that.

We'd also have to do some rearranging of the living space so we had enough floor space for things like baby toys, but it could be done if we traded in our medium-sized dining table for a small one.

So I'm just torn - staying here another year would be fine, and easier in the short-term, but then part of me would like to begin life as a family in a place we know we're staying for a few years at least. In this case, we're just delaying the inevitable. Then again, we'd have another year to save up a bit of cash. Or maybe we wouldn't - maybe housing prices will continue to rise. Anyway, I'm completely baffled about what to do, but if you have suggestions or thoughts, I welcome them.