The Joys

There are some wonderful things about breastfeeding a toddler. But having him start referring to your, um, slightly more "endowed" side as "big mukmuk", is not one of them. Still, I couldn't help but laugh when he requested "big mukmuk" and then greeted it with "Hello big mukmuk!"

TMI

I should write some fabulous post about the Christmas we had, and how wonderful it was (and it was.) But tonight's post is about how 15 months after birth, I finally got my period back! I was starting to think it wouldn't happen until LM was fully weaned but it showed up today in all its glory... welcome back old friend. Because we're in the middle of a colossal snow storm, I had to call my Little Brother and ask him to pick up tampons for me on the way here. Yay for new age men. He even asked which brand... and better yet, actually BOUGHT the right brand. I realised I had no idea what stores even carry, because I haven't had to buy tampons in over 2 years.

Don't know whether it's a coincidence or not (probably not), but I've had mad baby fever lately. It's too soon though - must remember that. Need to work a little longer. But oh, wouldn't it be nice to drag all those itty-bitty clothes out of the basement and get them all set up for someone new?

A Day in the Life of a Working Mother

Wow - I am adjusting to being back at work. It's quiet a different pace, I must say. I am enjoying it much more than I thought. I admit, in the two or three days right before going back I had a few toddler-esque moments of whining "I don't wannnnna go back to work" through tears. But I also had a realisation on the bus that at least I'm going back to a job that's a pretty good one - it's not like I'm scrubbing toilets at a penitentiary.

So work is good. There are a lot more young associates than there were when I started there a few years ago, so the atmosphere is much more fun and lively. I'm not super-busy yet, but I have a few interesting files coming my way. But basically it would be perfect if I didn't have to go every single workday. Someone needs to legislate the four day work week.

It's quite different having a child - no more lingering around after work or showing up really early. A couple of times a week I have to leave at 4:30 to get LM from daycare. I haven't really told anyone that's what I'm doing - I just do. So far no one has gotten stressed about it, though I should probably make it a habit to check my e-mail when I get home. Luckily in this modern age that isn't a big problem. Or maybe that's unlucky - I'll be expected to check.

LM is adjusting well to daycare. He doesn't like to be handed right to the provider's arms, but if I put him down he crawls off right away and starts to investigate and make himself at home. So far there haven't been any tears, but perhaps there will be once he realises he's going there EVERY day. I hope not, but I'm prepared for it. But maybe we'll escape that stage altogether. It's funny - for a while he had separation anxiety that was sooooo intense, I wondered how he'd ever manage without me. But he has grown into such a happy, secure little guy - it's wonderful to see. He knows I'll be back for him at some point.

When I go to pick him up he is happy to see me - that's always a highlight of the day. He immediately goes for the chest to nurse, although I can distract him long enough to take the bus home if necessary. But once we're settled at home we have a nursing session. It's a very relaxing way to reconnect after a long day apart. It's funny - when I was breastfeeding a newborn I couldn't imagine breastfeeding someone so big and toddler-esque. But now I can't imagine breastfeeding a newborn with a wobbly head and a tiny little mouth and the insatiable appetite. Nursing an older baby is so much easier.

After that we play a little bit on the floor. Then D. and I manically try to put dinner on the table in time to all eat together - a new experiment. D and I used to always eat after LM went to bed but as he gets older and is eating more of what we eat, we're trying to move towards the family dinner.

After a very messy dinner, LM has his bath and goes to bed and I busy myself with cleaning up the high chair carnage and making his breakfast and lunch for the next day. The sleeping is still going well. He didn't sleep through the night again right away after his first time, but he did again about 5 days later and has pretty much done it ever since. He is waking up damn early so we're now trying to rectify that. We can usually get him back to sleep right away with a few pats, so we're hoping that he eventually gets used to not waking until 6:30.

Like everything else these days this post is more of a ramble than anything coherent, but I don't seem to have the time to edit my thought process.

Back At 'Er

The first few days back at work have begun since I am doing my training. I have now spent two full days away from LM. It's been easier and harder than I thought. I haven't missed him as much as I expected during the day - oh, sure there was that initial moment of panic when I was waiting in the lobby before the day started. I saw a pregnant woman, and you know how pregnant women have that sort of air of superiority about them? They have that look that says, sure, what you're doing is sort of important, but I'm generating LIFE here. Well, suddenly that pregnant woman I saw really intimated me, even though I haven't felt that way since I got pregnant myself. Without LM by my side I felt stripped down and insecure.

But mostly I've been fine; I haven't felt the need to dash back to see him on my lunch-break or to phone constantly. It's felt nice to be in the company of adults again.

The hardest part is when I get home, even though it's also the best part. LM is so thrilled to see me, and I love that. But I have no idea what he's done, when he slept, or whether he's eaten. His whole day is a mystery to me and as such his needs are too. Usually my day is based around the minutiae of his sleeping patterns. Suddenly I feel like only D knows what's going on and I suddenly need him to instruct me on all manner of things; but D's still in the habit of asking me if LM should eat, sleep et cetera, so together we're the blind leading the blind. I guess we'll get used to that and it won't feel so strange not to know every little thing he's been doing all day. That makes me a little sad though.

My other issue is LM's eating - he refuses the bottle all day while I am gone; today that meant he drank only a couple of ounces in almost 11 hours; he did get some solids down. I'll try fresh milk tomorrow as yesterday and today it was frozen stuff, carefully shipped out here with an ice-pack in my checked luggage. Frozen has never been an issue in the past, but perhaps he is refining his pallette. But if that doesn't work, I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I should just relax and just make sure there's lots of opportunity to feed before and after work; I guess he won't starve himself.

Pumping at work has been a challenge too - I'm using someone's office to do it, which is a little awkward. It's especially awkward when you accidentally don't seal that storage bag tightly enough and drip milk all over the occupant's address book... I've also got to wear mega pads to ensure no leakage as the only real opportunity to pump is at lunch and that's quite a long stretch for me. I come in with a padded B-cup and leave with a double D. I'm hoping there will be a better option at my own office, but there may not be since all our offices have glass that permits people to see into them. I may end up in ladies' room or something which will not be conducive to maintaining a bottle-a-day supply as I had hoped. But then if LM doesn't take the bottles I guess it's all moot anyway and maybe it's fine just to let my day supply go.

From the Mouths of Babes

The other day I was happily bouncing my two-year old niece on my knee while we sang "Walk Old Joe" when she looks over and grazes my chest with her hands. She looks up at me with her big blue eyes and says: "That's where LM eats."

"Um, yes"

"Eats milk," she says. "Only milk."

"Well, he eats some other things too."

"No, only milk."

Ah... you know you're a mother when the only comments that are made about your chest have to do with milk production.

Anyway, we are indeed homeowners, registered and all, with possession tomorrow. Our Internet access is getting shut off in the wee hours and the stupid ISP can't flick the switch to turn it back on for a few days. Between then and now I'll be celebrating a rather momentous birthday, so think of me as I cross the threshold from sweet young thing to, er, not so young anymore (though, I guess given my niece's comments, that threshold is likely already passed.)

Sold!

Our place sold! Yahoo. And for just $500 less than the initial offer, so all in all it worked out wonderfully. Thanks for your positive thoughts (and your lovely compliments on LM.) To answer your question Kaitlyn, I don't think he looks that much like either of us, at least not in the way some babies do where you look at them and see one parent. However, if you look at baby photos of D, and also of my brother, there are a lot of similarities with both of them. (And I think he has my eyes! But luckily for him, someone else's long lashes.)

Can't believe how quickly work is creeping up on me. I got an e-mail from my boss a couple of days ago asking if I wanted to do some training in the Big Smoke. Training opportunities are fairly few and far between in my city, at least at our office, plus I think it would be really cool to meet some of the students one of the bigger offices and participate in their training. Plus it will be kinda fun to spend some time in Canada's law capital. Obviously I've been to the city before (am in fact headed there next week) but not in any sort of lawyerly function. I said yes immediately.

Problem is, it's in August, before my mat leave is officially over. So it begs the question - what to do with LM? It's hard to imagine what he'll be like three months from now. Right now he is going through this big separation anxiety phase, and when I leave him to go to the gym, yoga, shopping, whatever, he'll often cry for an extended period - it's very trying on his caregivers, and him. I'm not sure if he'll be as dependent on me once he's more mobile and so on, but what if he is? Also, I don't want to wean him yet, so leaving him for four days could be both physically and emotionally traumatic for us both. I'd be engorged and I'd have to pump to maintain my supply, and I think the sudden weaning, even if it's temporary, could be fairly traumatic for LM.

So I have three options, more or less in order of preference:

1. Take LM with me, convince D to take a week of holidays and all go together;
Pros: LM's transition to me as a working woman is less traumatic; he spends time with Dad and we get to see some of D's family.
Cons: We'd prefer to spend D's vacation time working on the house; ticket cost.

2. Take LM and hire a nanny service to take care of him while I am there.
Pros: LM doesn't have to undergo sudden weaning; I don't suddenly disappear from his life for a week when previously he's never been away from me for more than a few hours;
Cons: Cost; LM is left alone with a stranger in a strange place.

3. Leave LM at home and hope D can take a vacation week, or arrange some other child care.
Pros: I can just relax on training and don't have to juggle LM's morning and evening rituals; can take advantage of all the dinners and so on.
Cons: I can only base it on how he is now, but I think this could be fairly traumatic for LM; he'd survive, but it would be kinda painful for him and by extension, for me; I'd have to be diligent about pumping and maintaining supply; we risk damaging our breastfeeding relationship.

Decisions, decisions. I'm definitely leaning toward #1 or 2, but am keeping #3 in mind just in case LM does become radically more independent.

Where's My Book?

One of the things that bothered me when I was pregnant was that a lot of the home birth literature has this almost fanatical bent to it. I mean, on the one hand, one of the main arguments in favour of home birth is that women should have control and choices in how they birth and should do what is comfortable for them. But then a lot of the proponents are so dead certain that there's only one right way to do it - and that conceding to any intervention is some sort of failure. They make it seem like in order to have a home birth you must be so hardcore about it that afterwards you're going to cook up the placenta and eat it for dinner. (Which reminds me, our placenta is still in our freezer, but I digress.) So in that sense, the proponents alienate those who might otherwise consider it because they make it seem like it isn't a mainstream choice. And as a result a lot of our friends and family thought we were doing it just to make a point, when in fact, we felt that for us it was a safe and sensible choice.

I find the same thing with breastfeeding sometimes. I'm not planning to wean at six months, or even a year. If what I've read is true it will be possible to continue breastfeeding in the morning and evening even when I'm working. I have no idea how significant the health benefits of breastfeeding are past the infant stage, and frankly, I don't care. I enjoy it and so does he. I remember thinking that with mothers who breastfeed toddlers "It's really as much about her..." Now I realise, well, duh, yeah! If I enjoy bonding with my kid that way, why not?

So I was mildly interested when I stumbled across a book about a breastfeeding toddler - but then the whole book is so hardcore; these people only shop at a farmer's market, and they don't own a car; their happy toddler is permanently in a sling on their hip or in a bike seat. I do admire that lifestyle in some ways, but it's not the one I've chosen. And it seems to me that people who relate to that book don't need a book like that to encourage breastfeeding an older child - I'm sure their happy granola circle and all their pals on the mothering.com forums are extremely supportive. Where's the pro-breastfeeding book for the condo-dwelling child of corporate drones? Now that's one I'd add to my Amazon.com wishlist.

Solid Ground

LM has been asleep for 36 minutes and counting, which means I am seriously tempting fate by starting a blog post. If I want anything done, it needs to be started at the beginning of nap time.

House-hunting continues apace. We have two more to see tomorrow, which we're excited about. Both are in a wonderful neighbourhood. One looks ideal, but it's a little closer to a busy road than we'd like. The other is in a better location, but probably needs more work.

Ahhh. Patience makes perfect. Or something. I'm a big believer in the idea that we'll end up where we're meant to be. The substitute real estate agent (ours in on hols), who is extremely helpful and sweet, was a bit over-excited about one and mentioned how many people were going through it today. Well, if we're meant to be in it, it will wait for us because I don't want to rush over there this afternoon without D.

In other news, I'm interested in how many of my friends and peers are starting their kids on solids early.

I took a prenatal class with a six couples. I absolutely LOVED it. Some of it could be a bit overly granola-crunchy; I think we all found that. But sometimes it helps to get that perspective since we get the other perspective almost everywhere else. We had two sessions on breastfeeding, attended by mums and dads. Of the women in that class, all of them are exclusively breastfeeding, and none are planning on introducing solids early.

I was also part of another mother's group of six. None of them did a prenatal class that focussed on breastfeeding. All of them wanted and planned to exclusively breastfeed, but none have done it without medication for supply issues, or some formula supplementation. Most of them are planning to introduce solids well before six months. Obviously not scientific but it does bolster my theory that lots of "supply" issues are actually caused by misinformation and poor advice. I do add the caveat that one of those mothers could not have breastfed exclusively anyway because of breast reduction surgery, and in that respect she was given quite bad advice from the pro-BF camp, many of whom encouraged her to think that she would be able to do so. It was quite heartbreaking to realise she could not, and a lactation consultant later confessed she had never met a woman who'd undergone that surgery who could. It would have been better (and kinder) to prepare her for the fact that breastfeeding under those circumstances is going to be challenging and formula supplementatin would likely be needed. Instead she had to figure that out in that crazy hormonal immediate post-partum period as her baby failed to thrive.

In any case I will be waiting on solids. I'm sure some babies are genuinely ready before six months, but I don't think LM is one of them - his gas still wakes him crying and I am wary of throwing anything else in the mix. At least, that's what I say to the mothers and relatives who ask "why wait?" I must admit another part of it is just that it looks awfully busy... I can hardly plan meals for myself - planning them for LM just seems a lot of work.

In any case LM is up now (what... you think I actually wrote this whole post with him asleep?) and so we're off as he won't be content to suck on my arm as I type for too many more minutes.

IUD

I had an IUD put in yesterday. I thought I'd write about it since I hadn't any idea what to expect and knew no one else who's ever had one, or at least, no one close enough to have shared.

So in Canada (and, I presume, elsewhere) there are two types - copper and hormonal. The hormonal one sends small doses of hormones (one-fifth of what's in the pill) to your uterus/ovaries and impedes ovulation and implantation. The copper one kills sperm and impedes implantation. The copper one has a 99% success rate*, the hormonal slightly higher. The side-effects of copper are heavy periods for the first few months. The side effects of hormonal are lighter or possibly no periods (which could be a bonus for some!)

I opted for copper because I'm not comfortable taking hormones, even low doses, while breastfeeding. Not sure why exactly - I'm just not. Also, the Pill really affected my sex drive, so I prefer just to be off hormones completely. Besides, I figured that even though the hormonal is slightly more reliable (99.9% apparently*), the copper IUD is still more reliable than the Pill, or at least, the Pill with normal usage. And since I'm not getting a period right now, heavy periods isn't much of an issue for me. That said, hormonal IUDs are said to be safe during breastfeeding.

My doctor referred me to a clinic to have it inserted. The doctor there does lots of IUDs. I went in, took off my pants, hiked my legs up into the stirrups and away we went! She started, well, probing, and explained she was doing some freezing. I didn't feel anything more than I do with a PAP. Then she inserted the IUD. There was a brief twinge of pain then; I'd say it was similar to the pain of an early labour contraction, or maybe similar to the pain of an injection. But it lasted just a second - like by the time I could have said "ouch" it was over. She checked the IUD's position with an ultrasound and said it looked great. We exchanged pleasantries; I was as pleasant as I could be knowing she'd just had a full-on view of my vagina. I pulled up my pants, paid my $35 for the device (the copper ones are also a lot cheaper; range from $35 to $80 versus $350 to $400) and was on my way.

After that I was a bit menstrual crampy for the evening (had it inserted at 6 p.m.). I took a couple of acetaminophen (no ibuprofen on hand) and was fine. I also had some bleeding - and they didn't offer me a pad which was kind of annoying! I hadn't thought to bring one... actually I had one in my diaper bag but I forgot I did. I'm still spotting very lightly, but just a pantiliner's worth.

So that's it! I go back in six weeks to make sure it hasn't fallen out because they are occasionally rejected in the first few weeks; although she said that the only time it would fall out without me knowing was during a period (which so far, I don't get). And it's effective immediately.

So far so good - a highly effective, dirt cheap, non-hormonal birth control that I never have to think about - except in five years if it needs to be replaced, or before then if I remove it to further our baby-making adventures! You can start trying right after it's removed, and you do not need to have given birth already to have one inserted. Why on Earth are these things not more common?

Speaking of birth control, the baby calls again!

*(Note - those stats come from the handout I got at the clinic and are similar to what I came across browsing around the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists web page; I have not looked at original sources.)

Born or Made?

I was having a discussion with some people recently about parenthood and it really surprised me how many people felt that women, i.e. mothers, have some innate difference (they argued advantage) in terms of meeting their baby's needs. I, having been brought up by a classic liberal feminist, protested. It's true, I am the primary caregiver, but this, I argued, is for two reasons only, one economic and one physiological.

I'm home during the day because I happen to make less money right now, and it made more sense for me to take advantage of our country's relatively generous parental leave (which is obviously not as generous as D's salary!) Secondly, because we're breastfeeding, I am kind of glued to him in these early days. But, I argued, if it were Dad at home, he'd do the exact same thing as I do. Other than those two factors, mothers are no different than fathers.

But two things kind of made me rethink this a little. First, someone asked a hypothetical question about how if there was a fire, would you first help your baby or your spouse. My immediate response is BABY! Not because I love the baby more, but because he's my child and I just feel this overwhelming responsibility for him. I don't think the answer would change if he was 26 instead of six weeks. I assumed D would feel the same way, but when I asked him his immediate response was "You, hon!"

Then last night, as I was up late pumping in an effort to have enough of a stash of milk to, I don't know, get a haircut or go out to eat, I was sitting in the living room in the dark with my two guys down the hall in the bedroom. I heard the baby moan in the room, but being hooked up to the machine, I assumed D would deal with it. He didn't. The murmurs eventually grew to full-blown screaming, but D slept through it all until I went in and said, "Don't you hear him yelling his head off?"

So anyway, I'm wondering, is there more of a difference between mothers and fathers than just breasts and a few social conventions? Is there something underlying innate difference that goes beyond that? Are mothers (for the most part, there are always exceptions) just better suited to certain parts of the job and fathers to others?

It seems like motherhood has meant something very different (not better! just different) for me than fatherhood has meant for D. We are totally falling into this hunter-gatherer dyad, and D's role is all about providing and playing and mine is about nesting and feeding the family. Is it just economics that's forced us that way, or is it something more? Or am I just starting to feel like there's this innate "mother-ness" because motherhood is pretty much all I've got going on right now is baby, whereas D has this whole work life where he doesn't have to be Dad 100% of the time. It's just, I'm starting to think that even if I were working full-time, there would be something fundamentally different in our roles.

For some people these might seem so obvious - like, duh! Mums and dads are different. That was the way the discussion I had went. But I have to say, as someone who's always thought that gender differences were more nurture than nature, this is all a bit of a revelation.

In Which I Ask for BF Advice

Whoa - Little Man has been on an insane growth spurt today, which is kind of funny since every day is a growth spurt for him - at his last appointment dude had put on a pound in less than a week. Anyway this growth spurt pretty much consists of him nursing every half-hour. Unfortunately for him the well is dry and drained. I did take Michelle's advice and pump some off for future use when I was having my crazed leaking days, but I have no bottles yet and I wanted to put off giving him anything via bottle for a little while yet. But I guess if he keeps at it eventually my supply will rise to his demand again.

Anyway I also took the advice of Kaitlyn and another woman from my prenatal class and examined my diet and recalled that the commencement of his fussy period did coincide with me eating a whole lot of delicious cheese and purchasing a gallon of milk... so I've eliminated dairy from my diet and he seems much better. It's a bit of a blow to me though, as I adore cheese and am a rarity in that I am an adult who loves to drink tonnes of milk. Oh well, perhaps in a few months I will slowly reintroduce it slowly when his gut is a bit more mature.

As for overactive letdown, I'm pretty sure I have that too... at least he does choke and sputter sometimes when he gets on for a feed, and I've accidentally sprayed him in the face a few times. I've been blockfeeding him (e.g. one side per feed) as I read that helps; actually I was already doing that anyway before I knew it had a name or anything, as it just seemed to be the way to go. But is there anything else to help it?

Anyway I wish I had more to say but Little Man summons me for yet another feed - it has after all been 35 minutes. I bought myself some Sex and the City DVDs so I am at least entertaining myself during these frequent meals.

On Sleep and Other Things

There are a few things that people told me before I had a baby that I didn't fully understand - like how much I would love Little Man, or how sort of labour-intensive it is looking after a little baby. It's true he doesn't do a whole lot, but the few things he does need - mostly feeding, burping and cuddling, take up way more time than one would think. And when he is quiet for a nice long stretch, I have to keep checking on him!

Then there are the things no one tells you - like what the pain of labour feels like, how worrisome the tiny things that are that can happen to a newborn, and how different colours of poop become discussion topics between you and your partner. But maybe those are things I wouldn't have believed even if I'd been told.

On the list of things I wish someone had told me: breastmilk stains! I wore a couple of t-shirts to sleep in, comfy, favourite t-shirts, and taking them out of the wash, I see that they still have the telltale rings on the chest from late night leakage or something. So note to others who may still be looking ahead to this adventure - wear that nursing bra to sleep in!

As for Little Man, things are going really well. His cheeks are getting fat. D and I are figuring out how much we can get done in a day, and mostly we are just enjoying him immensely. Most people complain or commiserate about the sleep deprivation aspect of this age, but so far that has not been too major an issue. There have been a couple of nights where he just doesn't want to seem to settle down, but most nights he wakes, mewls a little bit, I feed him, burp him, feed him again, and he settles back in for the night. I have him next to my bed, so I don't even have to get up, and I stay in bed the next morning until 9 or 10. I figure this way I'm still getting my needed 7 or 8 hours, even on the nights when he's particularly alert. If he's really fussy, I might wake D to change him, or wrap him, or just to take over for a bit, but mostly I just handle the nighttime and D is on daytime duty.

I have a friend who passed me copies of the Baby Whisperer and has asked me whether LM is sleeping well yet. I don't really anticipate him sleeping for long stretches for a while, and in fact, the midwives told me to wake him if he goes more than 4 hours. But it's funny how there's this pressure. I don't want to admit our bedtime routine because I know she'd think we're spoiling him by having him in our room (and occasionally in our bed), even though it's the routine that absolutely works best for us and I am much more well-rested than I'd be if I had to get up and go into another room every time he fussed (not to mention, I'd probably wake to check on him, just cause I am a bit anxious.)

I just remember her telling me how "Eat-Activity-Sleep-You Time" (the routine suggested by the Whisperer) works for ALL babies. But funnily enough, it doesn't work for us because LM is quite a prodigious vomiter and if he gets too jostled or moved after a feed (i.e. if we do an "activity" like a diaper change) all my hard work ends up on a receiving blanket, or on me, or in his bassinette. So it's more like Eat-Sleep-Me Time-Eat-Sleep-Burp-Sleep-Activity-Eat-etc. and that's working out just fine.

Prenatal

Well, I went for my first pre-natal exam yesterday. I love my G.P. - she is really sweet. So the exam involved reconfirming the pregnancy with another urine sample, then having a sort of all over physical.

She asked if I was planning to breastfeed and said she highly recommended it. "It's not always easy," she said, "for you or for them."

Speaking of, my breasts, (why does it feel like a bad romance novel to talk about your "breasts") they have gotten much bigger. Now size is relative, I realise, but from a decidedly-A to a pretty-much-qualifies-as-B feels very exciting to me! I have to stop and admire them every now and then. When I start to worry, I just reach and press one - "yup, still hurts." Anyone know when it stops hurting?

She asked when my last period was, which I can't remember - after all, that is how we got into this mess isn't it? I think conception must have been around the 24th of 25th because after that we realised we were in danger zone. But I'm not sure... so she vaguely suggested a dating ultrasound which I jumped on; I have to admit, part of me just wants to see that there's really something there, maybe some kind of flicker. That would be reassuring.

After that there was the pelvic, but no PAP since I am a good girl and went in November. She examined me and said, (here's a delightful mental image for you) "it feels pretty beefy in there. Maybe you are further along than we think, or maybe there are twins. It could also be the tilt of your ut..." My interest faded off here as I swallowed the word "twins." When I told D this story he wasn't aghast at twins, he was like "she was feeling around in there? How does she do that?"

I actually love the idea of twins; like a lot of people I've always been fascinated by them. But I've also heard a lot of sad stories. My grandmother gave birth to stillborn twins, as did my in-laws. Plus, it would become virtually impossible for me to work enough hours to qualify for EI since they're almost always premature and even if they're not, you're pretty much laid up for the last few weeks. (And phew, my sister-in-law was wrong, you don't need to work six months to get it, just 600 hours, which I could do) Maybe I'm wrong about prematurity and laid-up-ness, but that is my impression. My G.P. said not to worry about it and chances are slim, but sometimes one little word from a medical professional can leave you pondering all night. So anyway... ultrasound, I'm keen.

Oh, then at the end she mentioned there was some protein and a little blood in my urine, which she said is not a worry, but could signal infection, but probably not. She mentioned the word "beefy" again at that point too. I'm going to take her word on the not worrying part. For some weird reason I often have blood in my urine when I test - had it with my gallbladder issue too. If anyone knows what that's all about, fill me in.

P.S. Also forgot to mention that I am now further along than I got the first time, which is likely insignificant in terms of risk, but feels milestone-y for some reason.