Boo Hoo

I really, really, really wanted to go to bed early tonight. But I can't because my g*ddamn toddler is still awake! The sleep thing is killing me. My attempt at "training" a few weeks ago worked to a degree. He is now no longer nursing/feeding all night. But he is super addicted to us and will not relent! Last night he woke up an hour after going to bed and screamed incessantly until I finally held him. When I thought he'd fallen back asleep I put him in the crib and he wailed again until finally we gave in and just went to bed. It was 10 o'clock.

D is out of town and I just want 10 minutes to kick back and the kid refuses to go to sleep in his crib. I started to lose my cool and actually raised my voice to him for the first time. He is now wailing in his crib and I am steaming out here. Why can't someone give me a goddamn break and let me have some sleep? No wonder I've been sick for the last 4 months.

I know I sound ungrateful. I love that little man more than anything. But I need to sleep!!!