Morbid Game
D and I were just playing the "what would you do if you only had six weeks to live?" game. And we're not talking the six weeks of health, where you can flit off on the trip of a lifetime to Zanzibar, but where you are dying and sick.
His suggestions were:
1. Snuggle LM
2. Fly family out to spend time with him
3. Spend time outside as much as possible
4. Eat good food and great wine
5. Work as much as possible and do more powerpoint presentations (errr... not)
Mine were:
1. Snuggle LM, and keep him up really late, and let him fall asleep in my arms always
2. Go to yoga or meditation as I could
3. Get massages, pedicures and manicures and spa treatments
4. Get my hair done so I look great
5. Spend time in the country or go stay there
I can think of dozens more things, and many that would be higher on the list than those five or six, but that's not the point of the exercise. It was more about the first things that popped into our heads.
The sad thing is, I don't think you really get that chance. You never know you have a perfect six weeks. You're told six months, and it's only a month, or you're told a month and it's a year. Or you're not really told anything at all except that things aren't looking real good. You're in denial, you're angry, you're frightened, you hope against all hope it doesn't happen. I don't think many people just sit back and ponder about the meaning of life and make amends to all their old friends and leave hundreds of letters with advice to their children. There was a woman on Oprah who did that, but I suspect she is in a very teensy minority of people who keep their head about them. I think most people are desperate and scared.
Despite the horrid prognosis faced by my aunt, she had resolved that she would "beat" this thing... but the bad news keeps piling up. Today it was about more cancer... all over the body. I'm not supposed to know that yet. Probably the braver thing would be to admit that I do know and call her and try to think of the right thing to say, but I'm afraid to. So I'm taking the easy way out and keeping up the I don't know charade for another day until I can absorb this. Don't judge me...
His suggestions were:
1. Snuggle LM
2. Fly family out to spend time with him
3. Spend time outside as much as possible
4. Eat good food and great wine
5. Work as much as possible and do more powerpoint presentations (errr... not)
Mine were:
1. Snuggle LM, and keep him up really late, and let him fall asleep in my arms always
2. Go to yoga or meditation as I could
3. Get massages, pedicures and manicures and spa treatments
4. Get my hair done so I look great
5. Spend time in the country or go stay there
I can think of dozens more things, and many that would be higher on the list than those five or six, but that's not the point of the exercise. It was more about the first things that popped into our heads.
The sad thing is, I don't think you really get that chance. You never know you have a perfect six weeks. You're told six months, and it's only a month, or you're told a month and it's a year. Or you're not really told anything at all except that things aren't looking real good. You're in denial, you're angry, you're frightened, you hope against all hope it doesn't happen. I don't think many people just sit back and ponder about the meaning of life and make amends to all their old friends and leave hundreds of letters with advice to their children. There was a woman on Oprah who did that, but I suspect she is in a very teensy minority of people who keep their head about them. I think most people are desperate and scared.
Despite the horrid prognosis faced by my aunt, she had resolved that she would "beat" this thing... but the bad news keeps piling up. Today it was about more cancer... all over the body. I'm not supposed to know that yet. Probably the braver thing would be to admit that I do know and call her and try to think of the right thing to say, but I'm afraid to. So I'm taking the easy way out and keeping up the I don't know charade for another day until I can absorb this. Don't judge me...
posted by grass @ 8:42 PM
2 Comments:
At 10:35 PM ,
linds said...
Definitely not judging you. *hug*
At 6:02 AM ,
portia said...
I really think you should call her and just chat with her maybe/and/or visit. My mom went to visit her friend's husband who was dying and brough a Furry Logic book. I think it's about being there. There has been a lot of death in my bf's and my family this past year and we really wish we'd had the chance. I am not judging at all, as I haven't had to deal with very much death myself. My dad's only sister died very suddenly and I really regret never having gotten to know her too well. It's great that you have a good relationship with your aunt.
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