The Nightmare That is My Childcare Search

Well, I really set myself up for a slew of postings in my last missive, didn't I? Just think, in another few weeks I might even have to post about something unlrelated to babies, like, I don't know, work?

So today I'll cover daycares: I made the very dumb mistake of not putting LM on the lists for large group daycares as soon as I found I was pregnant; I guess I just thought, I don't know where we'll live, I know my mother will take him one day, so what's the point of paying for full-time care. Big mistake. Huge! Not that he'd be in any of them yet anyway - the lists are two years long, but at least it would be in the not-too distant future. I am now rectifying that because better late than never. I'm even calling daycares that have yet to be built and asking to be put on the waitlist there. Honestly, it's hilarious, I drive by construction sites and take down names and numbers. But realistically, LM won't get into any of them for at least a year, probably two.

So next up, licensed family childcare. These are in-home places that can have five to seven children; I assume with seven they need more than one staff person. Unlicensed care can only have two kids, so they don't even really advertise. I started calling the licensed family daycares a couple of weeks ago since everyone had told me that they run more last-minute, they don't do waitlists and they just sort of find out about spots opening up a month or so beforehand. That has proven true, and those that don't have a spot just advise me to call back the next week, (except the place that said they didn't have an opening until September 2010 - I guess they keep a waitlist.) So far I've called about 25 and only one has a place for him. Some that do have spots refuse him because they want an older child. So the one place that has room - I got an interview last week. You probably think that means I interview them. Right? Wrong. They interview me.

So I go to this interview. My personality is such that I tend to talk myself into the idea that something is going to be just fine. I always see the positive at first, then after quiet reflection, I realise, no, no, no, no, no. So I get to the daycare; the house is fairly rundown from outside, but that's okay. I let myself in the back door where the parking is. The kitchen is, to be kind, a pit. Newspapers and clutter piled up. I'm not talking messy (because honestly, my house is pretty messy), but seriously, worthy of some sort of TLC clean-up show; the cabinets are old and have holes in them. The play area is okay - LM immediately starts entertaining himself. There are toys EVERYWHERE, but they are in bins. She assures me she'd put away the smaller toys for him. The carpet is stained, but then what place with four kids under three wouldn't have a stained carpet?

The woman is quite nice; she's not exactly Albert Einstein and confuses some of the kids ages, forgets my name, but she seems relatively competent; she has her early childhood education degree; she's very caring; she's big on spending lots of time outside, which I want. She assures me she'd keep LM in her sights and close to her at all times, that I could call her for reassurance all I need and so on; the other children seem happy. She expounds on her philosophy of childcare and it all seems sensible and in keeping with my own.

So I'm trying to think positive and I call D with a decent report; then I go online and check out the inspection reports. She has SEVEN violations in the past two years, most of them hygiene related. Now one or two, I can understand; I know some of the stuff is kind of random. But to get seven you almost have to try. I start to process everything else and realise that in my desperation I'm lowering my standards way too much.

Then there's the information I sort of ignored until I had some time to process: There's a glass cabinet nearby that looks dangerous. She assures me she "almost" never has the TV on, but then her kid comes and asks to watch it (she says no - but if it's never on, why is he asking?) Some of the three year olds go play in the backyard alone. It's fenced, but still. The kitchen. The bathroom. The clutter. The yippy dog. The fact that the front door is on a busy street. Her husband is asleep in the master bedroom. Did I mention the kitchen? It's gross.

Based on my earlier positive report, D doesn't understand my about-face and wants to call her and ask about the inspection reports. I give him the go-ahead. So he calls and says "we're interested, just had a couple more questions." The kicker? She never calls us back! We got scooped on the $50 a day filthpile daycare!

So what's next? More phone calls. More e-mails. More responses to Craig's List ads. I get a "very interested" e-mail from a Scottish nanny whose ad I've responded to. Then she finds out our address and never writes back. She was looking for east-side and our neighbourhood is a nice east-side neighbourhood, so I can only assume it wasn't close enough to where she lives.

We've now also engaged a nanny agency - we pay them $700 to find us a nanny. They pre-screen for criminal checks and pre-interview and so on. We only pay if we hire through them, so we figured why not start the process so we have it as back-up if things get desperate. (Newsflash: they're desperate!) I may also put up an ad on Craig's List myself as well.

Anyway maybe it's good I have this project as otherwise I'd be too focussed on all the little details about LM's care and how sad it is that he'll be with someone else. At this stage I am too preoccupied with hoping that I won't have to have him in a pack'n'play in the corner of my office for the next six months. I'm guessing that'd affect my hireback.

So thanks Stephen Harper for your $100 a month in lieu of nationalised daycare. It's doing nothing for me right now. But am I wrong to think it just shouldn't be this hard?