How to Deal
Argh - sometimes I really hate people. Most recently, them telling D stories of emergency cesaerean births and umbilical cords wrapped around baby's necks and generally trying to be really discouraging of the possibility of home birth. I wish they would just butt out.
Let me be clear, we are not dogmatic. We will go to the hospital if it is necessary. All the research I've done shows that home birth is as safe provided adequate measures are taken. I'm not just picking sources that are biased in favour of more natural options, but am going to medical journals and other ostensibly objective sources. Before I started my research I wasn't fixated on this issue - I think I went in to this project relatively unbiased. We will have intermitten heart-rate monitoring and take other measures to ensure the safety of our baby.
I admit I am often feeling hurt by these particular relations - I feel they marginalise me and make very little effort to hang out with me. And making statements like that to D makes me feel like they don't respect our choices, and are trying to lobby him. I resent being treated like the crazy wife. Anyway I wish they would stop their fear-mongering - I find it really passive-aggressive. At least say it with me there so I can say my piece.
Let me be clear, we are not dogmatic. We will go to the hospital if it is necessary. All the research I've done shows that home birth is as safe provided adequate measures are taken. I'm not just picking sources that are biased in favour of more natural options, but am going to medical journals and other ostensibly objective sources. Before I started my research I wasn't fixated on this issue - I think I went in to this project relatively unbiased. We will have intermitten heart-rate monitoring and take other measures to ensure the safety of our baby.
I admit I am often feeling hurt by these particular relations - I feel they marginalise me and make very little effort to hang out with me. And making statements like that to D makes me feel like they don't respect our choices, and are trying to lobby him. I resent being treated like the crazy wife. Anyway I wish they would stop their fear-mongering - I find it really passive-aggressive. At least say it with me there so I can say my piece.
posted by grass @ 9:07 PM
4 Comments:
At 9:45 AM ,
Michelle said...
Blargh, been there done that! How frustrating and insulting. Better yet, show them the studies - Cdn stats, no less - that show homebirth is potentially *safer* as well as "as safe as" hospital birth. But if they don't want to accept it, they simply won't. Blegh. Anyway, what I originally came here for was to say, Happy Birthday!!!!! :)
At 3:01 PM ,
portia said...
Ack, I hate that. Just smile and nod and hopefully they'll come round.
At 5:02 AM ,
kaitlyn said...
Oh Grass, you'll hear so many horror stories about births gone bad now that you're into your third trimester. I don't know why people feel the need to tell you these horrible stories, but it's the same people who will then tell you about SIDS, and then about hot water incidents and who will warn you about the terrible twos and the even worse,teenage years. There's always someone who wants to cut into your joy with dear. It's just especially shitty that it's your inlaws.
At 5:43 PM ,
LL said...
One of my closest friends in law school had both of her children at home and things went wonderfully. When I asked her about her labor she got a smile on her face and it seemed like it was such a peaceful memory for her- while it's not the right decision for me, it definitely was for her, and it sounds like it is for you too!
(And I can Totally relate to the unsupportive, marginalizing in-laws.)
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