Worries

I have felt awful for the last few days. I think my stomach moved to another planet. And even though I swore I wouldn't be one of those women who uses pregnancy as an excuse to turn into a "raging bitch" (those were my very smug words on Thursday), in the past 24 hours there have been tears for no reason, demands that D get me food I'm craving, and a general on-the-edge feeling.

I belong to this forum where pregnant women talk, and it seems like every day we lose one to miscarriage. That worries me, especially as they are often farther along than me. One of them said, post-miscarriage, that the embryo's heart rate had been too low at her first ultrasound; it was 117 at six and a half weeks and her doctor said that it was a cause for concern. Well ours was only in the low 120s! And we were seven weeks - is that too low for seven weeks?

Also, I read that the gestational sac should be a perfect sphere, but on the ultrasound print-off mine is this weird pancake shape with a dip in it. I hope it's just because she was pushing me in order to get a nice pic without the yolk sac in it (yes, there's a yolk in there... isn't that bizarre?)

Saturday, D asked me if I had any feelings that things might go wrong. I said it was a terrible question, and he said it was just because so far everything had seemed "tickety-boo" (yes he used that word) and he wanted to make sure that's what I thought too. I said, no, no major worries - everything is wonderful! Everything will be fine! And then I started worrying. That night I dreamt I was bleeding.