ennui

sometimes i feel like i am not particularly strong at anyone thing, but just do so many things... i'm a bit of a dilettante in certain ways. maybe that's okay - maybe my home and myself and being happy can be the things i am committed to and if meandering makes me happy, i should do it. or maybe that's just another sort of meandering though because i'm afraid of committing.

what is causing all this ennui? the fact that i am involved in a few organisations this year, none of which i am really committed to. i'd really like to quit one, but they carved my name on a plaque. does that mean it's too late to get out of?

i think i am going to do a triathlon. not a full one - just a little mini one - the "sprint" they call it. i need a bicycle though as i don't have one and haven't ridden in a few years. that will be my winter project methinks - i like it.