funny how things go

well - finally got results, but they were pretty much normal. so no slice and dice, which should be good news, except the pain - it keeps going.

so now i'm taking meds for ibs, which i know isn't the right diagnosis, but i'll take them to prove a point. if it doesn't get better, more searching. it felt so satisfying this time, to have a real problem - but now it's just vagueness again.

in the meantime, i think it's time to search out an n.d. got to find a recommendation.

life continues - delicious bbq with honey and pecan crusted chicken, visits to the gallery, babysitting for the niece - i even got her to sleep all by my lonesome; she squalled for a while but finally faded away, sucking away on my index finger while her parents had their first date night in six months.

strange to think that if i hadn't had the m/c, i'd be ready to go right now... instead i am just awaiting another school year, redecorating my apartment, and playing with the cats. i would be happy if it had worked out, but i try not to live in the past, or the future, and so for now i try to be present and bide my time... and now is not the time.